Lincoln College: Who wants to eat garlic on a Friday night?

JRR: Hey guys, did you know that this place has the oldest kitchen in continuous use in the world?

Alice: How do they know?

CS: They probably checked the kitchen at Lincoln is oldest in Oxford and generalized it to the rest of the world by implication. But the hall is cosy. Decent four stars. Just why is there a hole in the roof?

JRR: There used to be a big fire in the middle of the hall, but with the current fire regulations, they had to forget about it.

Alice: Hey, CS, it seems you are the only one here who bothered to suit up tonight. Some of the locals look like they just threw a gown over their gym clothes and descended upon the hall for a quick dinner. Guess that’s what happens if you have a formal six times a week. And the table setting is also pretty much like that. No menu, no wine glasses, no plate or knife for pastry, ordinary cutlery.

...

JRR: I heard they have a new chef here, I am sure he or she will do his or her best -

CS: Deep fried mushrooms, dripping with oil, senselessly scattered over a small white plate. Can we give negative stars for presentation? Hope they will taste bet... garlic! Who wants to eat garlic on a Friday night? It’s almost like they just brought the starter over from one of the two kebab vans around the corner from here. But I bet the kebab guys could actually do a better job.

...

CS: They call it Braised Beefsteak Carbonnade, I call it UBS.

Alice: ?

CS: Universal Brown Sauce. But the meat is actually quite well made.

Alice: Yes, the meat is great, nice four stars. It’s a pity the vegetables selection is not very colourful - cauliflower and cauliflower.

CS: At least it does not intimidate the UBS.

...

JRR: Hmm, I can appreciate a dessert with custard. As long as you take enough of it, it does not matter what the dessert tastes like. This one is fine, though.

CS: Yeah, taste is three stars. But the appearance, or the lack of it, is one star max. Sorry.

...

Alice: Aren’t we a bit too tough? The main dish was decent and people are nice, notice that our neighbours instantly started a conversation with us. And noone seemed to mind our not so inconspicuous scribbling of notes during the evening.

JRR: I agree, the students are nice. I thought the same about the staff, but only until they did not allow me to go the bathroom. True, I was actually on my way to pick up my camera, but still ... it felt like being back in primary school.

CS: What did you say? I’ve still been thinking about the mushrooms, still feeling the garlic ... wow, did you see what the folks at the high table got?

Alice: I guess next year we should review high table food instead.

Lincoln: summary

Date	14/10/2011	Days with formal hall (italics = no guests)	Mon-Fri, Sun
Starter	Deep Fried Mushrooms	When does it start?	7:15pm
Main Dish	Braised Beefsteak Carbonnade, Savoury Diced Potatoes, Cauliflower	Is there a high table?	yes
Dessert	Eve's Pudding	Should I bring a gown?	yes
Grace duration	29.2 seconds	Should I wear a tie/a dress?	no
Total dinner duration	37 minutes

Atmosphere	***
Hall architecture & interior	****	Grace & traditions	***
Dress code	*	Bonus	-
Table setting	**
Food	**
Pastry	***	Dessert - appearance	*
Starter - appearance	*	Dessert - taste	***
Starter - taste	**	Vegetarian option	-
Main dish - appearance	**	Bonus	-
Main dish - taste	****
Services	**
Maximum number of guests (1)	*	Wine glasses	-
Staff	**	Bonus	-
Pace	**
Value for money	***
Price for college members (£4.30)	****	Quantity of food	*****
Price for visitors (£6.50)	***	Wine (none offered)	*
Number of courses (3)	***	Bonus	-

In each category, a college is awarded one to five stars. "-" is used where we were not able to evaluate a particular subcategory at a given college. The number of stars for each category equals the average over all evaluated subcategories.

Project Collegelicious Launched!

You know it. It is the ubiquitous Oxonian conversation topic and no, it ain’t politics. It is even more Oxbridge than that. It is hall food.

So the question which has troubled many generations of Oxford students is this: where will you find the best formal hall in Oxford? Some colleges boast stained glass portraits of Alice in Wonderland, other complement Sunday dinners with a sung grace, yet others offer free wine, and some ... some of them even serve good food.

We are certainly not the only people in Oxford who would like to know which colleges offer the best formal halls. Yet, there is no comprehensive and coherent source of information on the topic. That is why we have decided to start Collegelicious.

On this blog, we would like to provide reviews of all, or at least the majority, of formal halls taking place weekly at the Oxford colleges. Our rules are simple.

1. We visit one formal hall each week of a term.
2. We visit the most formal dinner taking place at the given college every week.
3. We sit in the general hall, not at the high table (even if there is one).
4. One of us orders the vegetarian option (if available).
5. We award 0-5 stars in each sub-category and then obtain the category rating by averaging the number of stars awarded in each sub-category. If we are unable to evaluate a certain sub-category, it is excluded from the calculation.

We will stay incognito during the reviews in order to prevent lobbying or even upright corruption by college representatives, for we know how hard it is to say no to an extra crème brûlée. Let us just say that we are international (to make sure that Oxford halls can actually cater to tastebuds other than those brought up on cuisine where a potato with canned fish already qualifies itself as a respectable lunch) graduate students from St John’s, Somerville and Lincoln.

Since the oldest colleges take their fame from bearing witness to numerous decades and centuries, we decided to explore whether the years of tradition extend to maintaing their hall menu in good medieval spirit too (porridge three times a day), much like their gargoyles.

So it is that this term we are starting with the eight oldest colleges. For those less knowledgeable in history, these are University, Balliol, Merton (relax, these three are listed in no particular order!), Exeter, Oriel, Queen’s, New and Lincoln. If you want to know where to invite your family while it is visiting Oxford, or where to try to get invited yourself by your friends from other colleges, follow us closely.

We started at Lincoln in Week 1 of Michaelmas and we’ll soon be posting our full review. In short, we weren’t particularly impressed...